What I Learned–The Help Of Dad

If you identify with that image, will like the “what I learned” today!

I talk a lot with mothers, are my friends, cousins, readers, and the complaint is always the same; the lack of help from the husband in respect of children. That is, while mom goes crazy, my husband is a good on the couch watching your football with a can of beer in hand!

And believe me, if you have a husband who is a single parent and you brags about how it helps in your home, put your hands up to the sky; you are the privileged few who have managed to be so lucky!

That’s why I listed several topics that are the most applicants in every home that has child. And know that what happens in your House it certainly happens in mine and in every house with small children! I also have a “maternity party dress” as was here at calculatorinc!

What I learned:

The relationship between father and son build a much slower way than that of mother and son. When the baby is born for us it’s hard learning to know that little person, let alone the man went through pregnancy and suddenly appears more a serzinho that occupies the time of your wife and that still does not interact. It is normal that the man start creating a stronger bond and even more interest when you realize that your child already knows who he is, so be patient, the bond that the man creates with the children can take to appear. But he comes!

We moms can take a “little help” for Daddy to learn more about the baby. Since the first day with the baby at home, make your husband spend a few moments with him. For this you can take a bath longer and ask for her husband to be a “little bit” with the baby for you. These minutes alone often panic the man, but it’s important for him to feel that connection. Look in my eyes, feel the smell, touch the baby without anyone’s looking. Usually at the beginning the baby stays with the mother or in the cart then create some situations where the father can have this contact without anyone interfering. If you have a nanny, so talk to her for the two of you are “busy” at some point for Dad can get in on the action!

That man needs time to demonstrate affection. For man, the affection and emotion that demonstrates why a child is a very new feeling, that with time he will learning to cope. But in 100% of cases men become more emotional and affectionate after having a child. Just need time to incorporate this new sensation without finding that this demonstration is a weakness.

The life of man. And you’re going to be out of shape, will be able to take a shower, while your husband won’t give up beer and football with friends. It is normal that, if only because the woman engages more in child care. Our life changes completely, but to man is more difficult to adapt to this change. I think it is up to the man having the good sense to know that it’s a phase and cooperate as far as possible. And I think that fits the woman understand that many times it is better to let the man keep some old habits. You can be sure that he will come back much happier home if you can beat your ball, than if you stay with a crying baby and a woman stressed all day isn’t it?

We have to relax and let dad do as you feel better. The best way of father begin to get involved with the baby is leaving acting naturally. Don’t criticize if he took the baby or if you wore the right outfit. Find the maximum any spontaneous attitude and praise! Always remembering that man has the neuroses that women have. I’ve been very nervous with my husband when he keeps an eye on the girls. Often I can’t understand I barely blink your eyes when I’m with them, punch me to find jokes, making up stories and in half an hour I leave with him they fall, they drop half the room and he’s there, sitting on the couch watching game. … Man does not understand that child cannot take cold out in the wind, ice cream, juice pinch nonsense before meals….

But in the end this difference is part of the balance in education. Imagine if the man were neurotic as we women, what would these kids?!

Changing diapers is not for every parent! I know many parents who do everything, but don’t exchange diaper, especially of girls. It is difficult to the man be careful hygiene, pass the ointment the right way and still close the diaper properly! So rest assured that this is a task that you are very methodical, boring or prefer to do. Only have girls at home, I release my husband this function because I haven’t been able to make him understand that if cotton goes from top to bottom and not the other way around. After all, they don’t have that problem no? So how do understand that girls cannot sit on a public toilet without line and disinfect. But do you remember that? Today I share the function to change the girls on an equal footing. I got the diaper change of Manu, and he takes to Bruna to the bathroom, clean, and wash your butt, if necessary. And the crazy thing is that this process without diapers is even more complicated, but it does just fine. I think the problem of men with the diaper is something to study.

That charge is different from delegate. If you do not have help at home and obviously that implies greater collaboration of husband, does not cover what he does. Delegate functions! Here at home has improved a lot after I changed the strategy. I spent my weekends stressing me out charging a help that never came as I would like. Talked about: you can bathe on Bruna? And the answer was always: I’m coming! And that will never come, and there began the stress. Until one day I decided that each would have a task. So I do it like this: look, I’ll give lunch of Manu Meanwhile you bath in Bruna, here’s her laundry and the dryer and her lunch is ready in 20 minutes, so don’t wrap. And out…. Don’t ask if he wants or will do. And in 20 minutes to Bruna’s showered and ready for lunch. The natural man hates to be charged. Delegate a function doesn’t sound so much like a recovery and as a collaboration. And never forget, always praise!

I don’t have a nanny for some times helps strengthen the father-son relationship. I’m super in favor of the nanny, and I always had this help during the week since I have to work and my husband doesn’t arrive until the night a little before they go to sleep. But the fact is that not having a nanny on weekends creates a relationship of father with the children. I confess I often dream about having a folguista. Be integral with the kids is a delight, but it is tiring. And not help also means that you won’t be able to have a pop out the two, a dinner, a movie. But it’s a phase, and in the end be just the couple and the children strengthens the family relationship and causes the husband to participate of course. It is normal for any man make yourself comfortable in the presence of a nanny who knows that the woman is 100% available for the children and still have a hand. So, even if you have folguista, take a few moments where you stay just as a family, even a walk in the Park, lunch, anyway….

The man in the suit won’t listen to baby monitor. You can wake up as many times as and look to the side and your husband snoring as if nothing was happening. They don’t wake up as simply go into deep sleep and not care about what happens around. I think that the unconscious of them already know that mom will always be there any noise. We woke up because sleep worried and do not relax. They leave the worrying to us and sleep for them!

You don’t have to frustrate if your husband doesn’t wake up to give you a hand on the head in the morning. Except the cases where the baby mama in the bottle and the husband may be useful, nothing will help your husband be exhausted to give a moral support. It is difficult, but worth seeing for the hand that the baby needs your chest at that stage. And that’s enough one of two exhausted. The life of man to and soon he has to work. At the stage of breastfeeding I never woke up my husband unless I needed really. But I also would rather not try to wake up because I was going to stress for sure!!! Today if they wake up in the morning we take turns. Each awake them go! And Yes, he’s still not listening to the baby monitor, but then I call, push, call again and speak; now is your time!

Obviously your husband will get excited much more in play a soccer or move in a suitcase of tools instead of playing Princess. It’s hard enough for us mothers invent games with small, not everyone has this gift of creativity. So if in your House the girls dominate, let Daddy play ball, paint, make play dough and even play soccer! I think great pass the kid side for girls too! My husband takes place when the girls are interested in by his stands. But of course, in a home where there are no children, it is more difficult for the man to participate. So avoid asking the impossible; play with the princesses, beauty salon and all that pink world will never be in man. And Yes, we are more flexible in this sense because in the end the mothers of sons end up playing superheroes and stand without any problem.

That husband does not help and even ask why you’re not ready. I think I’ll take a lifetime to explain to my husband that we women are not like them I just wash my face put on a t-shirt and go out. I don’t leave man washed from home or to go to the corner. And in addition to having to change and dress up 2 children, still takes a while for me to get her hair done, pass a make, choose an outfit, etc…

You can identify what your husband can do spontaneously without complaining helps a lot not to stress the relationship. It’s no use to dream that you have a right arm on tasks at home and with the kids. If your husband has no talent for it but likes to Cook, explore this side. Let the function meals with him. If your husband doesn’t Cook, didn’t help, and only likes to play video games, then put their children and go take a voltiha. Because it is not every mother who likes to stand in front of a tv with a joystick. My husband loves getting on the couch with the girls. So even if he watch movie with them, is a moment that are embraced, together and any manifestation of affection is good for everyone!

That every marriage goes through several crises after arriving the children. And mainly because the mothers of being social with the lack of help from the parents. Remember this is a phase and that also passes. And that as the years go by, the easier it is to take care of the children and with it a better chance of men participate without so much stress. Like everything else in life, we need some time to adapt to the couple’s routine on arrival of a son.

We go crazy so much work that the kids and as they grow the dads who saw the little darlings and mom to boring. Because we spent the day giving lecture and stressed from too much talk “can not” and get Daddy all night happy and full of longing and squeeze and pampers children at the little time we have together.

Today my husband helps, thank God! Because gradually he was understanding that this is great for the girls and helps a lot in the development of them.

Bruna has passion for his father and is stuck in it. And that was a slow conquest, a small step. And today it is much more attached to it than it was 1 year ago. Let’s see if the Manu follows the same path.

And you mothers, their husbands help enough or you spend their days if tug between home, work and kids?? Want me to speak more on this subject, marriage and husband relationship after the kids!

And those who want to see the first post of the series “what I learned” click HERE.

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