Another topic that I receive many emails is, how’s my routine with 2 daughters and mainly, as was the reaction of Bruna with the arrival of Manuela. I’m still learning how to deal with, every day is a conquest, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s part of the difficult task of raising a child. So today I’m going to impart to you as it has been these days since to Bruna is not yet in school and I have the 2 all day with me at home.
Independent of the personality and age of first child, everyone feels for sure. Being the only son, limelight and pampered by everyone actually is delightful. So I sought some reading on the subject and talk to some friends therapists to prepare for the arrival of Manu and know how to deal with maternity pants at Youremailverifier.com.
During pregnancy I always acted naturally, without forcing any situation. Because of no point talking to a 1 year old baby had a baby sister on my belly and she was growing inside.
Much less have her kissing my belly or talk all the time about it. First because the Bruna was still very small, and second because it could cause unnecessary anxiety in it. And that’s what everyone told me; do not generate any kind of anxiety in children. Be natural.
With the evolution of pregnancy, to Bruna also evolves a lot. A baby who did nothing, went on to speak and understand a lot.
By the age of 7 months when some things from the room began to arrive, she realized that something was going on. I started slowly talking it was Manu’s room, her little knick-knacks… always with ease and without question if she would help care for, would play…. As this would generate anticipation, and when Manu came wouldn’t play or interact with her like she was imagining and would only be a baby who sleeps and cries.
When I left home to go to the hospital, to Bruna was still sleeping.
I don’t have the heart to go into the room to give her a kiss, because I was super emotional and it all comes tumbling down. Beyond the fear of something happening to me at birth, I felt a little guilty, a weird feeling, a fear of disappointing her, afraid of the days to come… and the main; guilt of not having enjoyed it as much as I would like… to run, roll on the floor, jump. This due to my limitation because of the malaise of the pregnancy and pain in the back. I saw the days passing, her growing, evolving and I suffer for not being able to enjoy it, and always depending on aid is a babysitter, husband of my mother… And I simply hate to depend on.
On the same day that Manu was born, asked for my mom to bring to Bruna to visit her. As tips from friends who have been through it; We bought some goodies to give when she walked in the room talking to Manu for her. Also I thought it best not be breastfeeding or with her in his arms when Bruna arrived because it would be a very big impact. Then we leave the Manu in the cradle and so to Bruna entered, my husband picked her up at the door and first brought it to me, and then presented the Manu.
Bruna has not shown any reaction, looked and then started getting tricky. We gave the gifts and then she got sidetracked a little bit. On the second day to Bruna asked to climb in bed with me, so we take the Manu, put together, and we left to Bruna pet, hug. And this is the picture of that first date where I almost infarction of emotion and fear her crush small!
What my pediatrician guided me is; Let the older react the way you want, let hug, shake, Kiss, just keep an eye out for situations that have risk, as she throw any toys, fall on, shake the soft spot.
If the mother act with fear, prohibit, veto, I’ll remove the child right away. And there’s no way to avoid that take the baby with the dirty hand, kiss on the cheek, hand over her mouth. I’m learning to take a deep breath and be nice. I always think so; all survive in the end, even if it come some flus or viruses. Give to super protect the first, but the second, third… impossible. Because to protect you, you will have to avoid contact with the older.
The most difficult were the 2 first weeks home. I thought I can’t take it. In addition to the fatigue and difficulty of the early days with adaptation and breastfeeding (Yes, the second son this also happens!), Bruna solve freak.
A sweet girl, ultra active and totally ruled, went on to be aggressive, I was crying all day, threw himself on the floor, and no more sleep after lunch. Approach of Manu so, no way. It was killing me physically and psychologically. As well as my exhaustion, was suffering too much knowing that Bruna was not well, that needed me, and I couldn’t give all the attention she deserved. More a feeling of guilt.
Don’t sleep in the afternoon that messed up everything. Because being super active Bruna need that break. I work, I need that quiet time at home. Then in the middle of the day she was even worse, because along with the jealous, was angry and not exhaust was making to sleep at all.
Try to make her sleep was hopeless. It was just put in the cradle to her screaming, crying, crying, and saying, “Mom, please, I don’t want to sleep.” I tried other techniques, put it in my bed, stories, took my mother’s bed, and nothing.
After 2 weeks who snapped. I started crying tired, hopeless and afraid to Bruna didn’t go back more to her routine. Because I wasn’t realizing.
So like I always do, I decided to let her cry in her crib.
Always follow the Nana Nene firmly so the Bruna is so ruled, and always slept without waking. Then I cover your ears, because a mother’s heart can’t handle. Were 2 days crying for a few minutes that seemed forever to me.
On the third day she cried a little, sat on the cot, picked up your Teddy bear and rolled over sleeping for almost 4 hours.
After this afternoon’s sleep things started to improve a lot here.
She returned the smile, stay in a good mood, joking and stopped giving scandal. What a few hours of sleep do not cause a child!
She does not show interest in the sister, but I don’t bother with it. I always ask for help changing diapers, bathing… Invite once, not force, if she wants to come. She likes and feels important helping when you want.
For little times asked to get Manu in the lap, and then when it asks for is kneading, kissing, is super sweet. Sometimes when you see on my lap you want to hit, cry, makes scandal. Are contradictory reactions, but all within the expected. The important thing is not to surrender to these dramas out of pity, if we don’t turn this hostage.
It’s been 50 days since the birth of the Manu, and I can say that I’m quite happy with my routine despite extreme exhaustion. What little time I have free, because I’m still working with design and with the blog that I require a lot of time, try to play with Bruna and coddle the most of it. Praise always, hug, Kiss, make her smile… and Manu as doesn’t feel yet, is where der; in the stroller, in the crib, on the car seat. And I end up getting with her more to increase and after to Bruna sleeps. But it is an Angel, don’t cry for nothing, is quiet, which helped a lot to not irritate the Bruna, which sometimes even remember that Manu’s home.
This week I had a joy, and a feeling I had never felt before; to be able to play with the Graham truth. After 9 months of pregnancy where I had no mood and still limited with back plus a post partum very hard and with some complications, we went to a party and I was in the pool of hop pellets to her, rolled on the floor… Finally, I felt free and playing for real. It looked like the beginning of a new relationship. Her happiness talking: Mom are you kidding me thanks all these months. She didn’t want to get out of the pool of balls, just to be next to me.
I think the photo demonstrates all that joy:
This week, we went together to the mall with no nanny, no husband, no grandmother. For the first time after I got pregnant of Manu, I didn’t need anyone to help me. We had ice cream, we walk, we bought a dress for her birthday. It was simply delicious.
I still have a lot of free time and limitation of back pain, I can’t do everything I’d like, so much so that post the ball pit, raised the bed the next day pain in the neck. But today I can take medication, do ultrasound, is a little easier than in pregnancy.
And so it has been my days. I’m done with my two daughters and every day improving the feeling of guilt with Bruna. It wasn’t easy this beginning with the two. But like everything in life that is new, it requires adaptation and above all, patience.
Soon to Bruna will realize the importance of having a brother, soon will be able to play together and create a friendship and a bond for life.
The wisdom of mothers is to administer all these mixed feelings without blaming yourself, knowing everything that we provide to our children, is definitely the best we have and with the greatest love in the world!!! Most families today have 2 kids, and they’re all there, without traumas and grateful for having a brother.
So for pregnant moms second child and that both asked me about this topic, do not suffer early, don’t blame both because it often ends up being even easier than we imagine. All work out in the end.
And what I can say is that the emotion and the love that we feel really only multiplies and complete even more us.
Is too good!
And right now, I’m at home, waiting for the physic al therapist arrives, to try to improve the pain on my back, the result of playing with the Bruna!